To Change Or Not To Change

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interest but taken an interest in others, too. – Philippians 2:3-4

Did you know you impact could be the catalyst of change in another? Following in the example Christ set for us we learn, “Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross” (Philippians 2:6-8). Why else do you think Christ commanded us to look to the needs of others – even above our own? When we choose to look to the cross rather than our own circumstances, we find we have everything we need to change our own lives and the hearts of those around us.

While waiting to see change in others, check your own ambitions. Is the change you want for your significant other selfish? Christ reminds us, “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged…The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged” (Matthew 7:1-2). I often find myself being harsher on the people I love than I should be. But we shouldn’t strive to be better – or make others better – just because we want affirmation from someone else. Here’s the real reason for change: “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).

In a relationship, two people are always changing to fit the needs of their partner. Is your significant other willing to work at changing with you? Do the two of you strive to make each other better than you were – and better than you could be on your own? The truth is, we all need a change of heart. But check out what God promises: “I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them. I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart, so they will obey my decrees and regulations. Then they will truly be my people, and I will be their God” (Ezekiel 11:19-20).

Prayer: Create in me a clean heart, O God. And renew a loyal spirit within me. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life. Transform me and help me grow in a relationship that honors you. Amen.