Do you just hate it when a guy blasts the music too loud when you’re in his car? Or when a girl can’t seem to tear herself away from texting and talking on her cell phone long enough to say hello? Maybe you’d never date someone who smokes, doesn’t laugh at your jokes, or has a lot of baggage from a previous relationship. It’s no question. Everyone has deal breakers in a relationship – beliefs we’re not willing to compromise. But what does the Bible say our deal breakers should be?
Same spiritual beliefs. “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” (Amos 3:3). If a couple’s beliefs are lopsided or unequal, they will never be able to grow together. Similarly, Paul warns us not to “team up with those who are unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Accepts authority. The Roman officer whose story is told in two Gospels had soldiers and slaves under his authority. He was a powerful man and yet he accepted Christ’s authority over him (Matthew 8:5-13). Does your date accept the roles God gave all of us? Does he respect those in authority? Does she accept God’s authority over her life?
Hygiene habits. This isn’t about how often your date flosses or what kind of deodorant he wears. It’s about the state of his heart. Does he or she care more about the outward appearance than the inside? Beauty only scratches the surface of the skin. If your date’s daily spiritual habits are as regular as a shower, you’ll be able to see the fruit in his daily life. Financially free. Can your date manage his or her pocketbook? Did she spend her rent money on a new pair of shoes? Did he blow his next paycheck on the latest toy? Scripture tells us to “Give to everyone what you owe them: Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them…Owe nothing to anyone – except for your obligation to love one another” (Romans 13:7-8).
All our deal breakers are different. Some of them won’t really matter in the long run (he’ll probably turn down his stereo when he has a baby in the backseat!), but don’t compromise on a life partner who’s heart isn’t full of Christ. Prayer: Thank you for being my guide in relationships. Help me to trust you while I wait for your perfect timing. Amen.
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